The story opens with a group of spirited young adults engaged in a playful paintball match. IVY shares her frustration that she can’t hit anything with her paintball gun with her best friend, EVELYN, a young lady in good shape with some meat on her bones and a spark of attitude. Meanwhile, SHANE shoots down a sign. "Ivy, will you marry me." Ivy is so surprised that her paintball gun goes off. POW! POW! POW! Regrettably, she shoots Shane in the groin. Tinker Bell canary yellow paint marks the spot. Shane SCREAMS! He crumbles to the ground in agonizing pain. Ivy rushes to Shane, “I’m so sorry! Do you still want to marry me?” Shane replies with a wry crack in his voice, “Is that how you say, yes?”
However, the joy of their engagement is short-lived when they make their announcement to Ivy’s parents, WALT, a large intimidating Hispanic businessman, and LILLY, a seductive Hispanic romance novelist dressed in slutty clothing who fusses over everything. Walt vehemently disapproves, believing they are too immature to make a lifelong commitment. Ivy’s parents conspire to derail the wedding by imposing a list of Catholic prerequisites for marriage, known as “pre-cana”. Shane under pressure reluctantly agrees, even though he’s uncertain about what’s involved.
For the most part, Shane’s parents, JESS, who’s high-tempered farmer who means well, and FLORANCE, a simple wholesome woman who takes things in stride, are on board with the idea.
The couple's journey through pre-cana is led by FATHER MARTIN, clean shaved with red hair who stutters, who explains to Shane what pre-cana is, “You’ll attend a series of counseling sessions where you’ll learn how to fight with one another… Conflict resolution skills...” and a few other things.
When their parents squabble over the wedding details at Shane’s Parents’ house, Shane and Ivy realize they’ve lost control of their wedding. They find the courage to tell them that they are tired of going through pre-cana. It’s an emotional showdown. Frantically, Lilly pleads, “Ivy! You need the blessing from the church. Walt! do something!” Walt feels the pressure of the moment, “If the church doesn’t approve, then we don’t approve!” He shoves Lilly out the front door.
The next day, the couple and Russ are at their favorite hangout. They confide to Russ that they feeling overwhelmed and disillusioned. When Russ makes a left-handed comment, “I’d make a run for it.” Shane’s eyes light up, “That’s it! Why don’t we elope? It’ll be like I’m rescuing you from ‘em.” When Ivy agrees, Shane feels like all his problems are solved. However, when Ivy’s parents discover that they’ve eloped to Vegas, they frantically chase after them.
During the road trip to Las Vegas, As Ivy takes a nap, Shane resorts to using a soda bottle as a makeshift restroom, narrowly saving her from drinking out of it when she awakens. Ivy throws the soda bottle out of the car window. She is unaware that it hits the car and pops like a water balloon all over the vehicle’s windshield behind them. When Ivy reaches for a new soda from the cooler in the back seat, she notices the guy (SODA BOTTLE DRIVER) in the car behind them, flipping them off and honking. She asks Shane, “Are we going to slow?" Shane looks in the rearview mirror. Panic races through his eyes. He floors the gas pedal. The Sofa Bottle Driver yells, “I’ll find you! You little S.O.B.!”
Upon their arrival in Las Vegas, the couple’s choices for a hotel are limited. When they finally do find a room, they are greeted by a HOTEL CLERK, who’s a living relic from the 1970s. Initially staying in a hotel where Elvis slept sounds pretty cool but it’s the hotel from hell. It’s a nightmarish blend of everything being screwed down, a squishy bed, and impractical showerheads that makes Shane have to shower on his knees. After leaving the hotel, Shane discovers that the Soda Bottle Driver is chasing after them and so is Ivy's parents! Oh Crap! Ivy is completely unaware of the posse following them to the alter.
While looking for the perfect chapel, they see another couple get married in a Star Wars theme wedding. When the MINISTER, who’s a blast from the past, dressed as a 60s hippie, shows Ivy a picture of a theme wedding as Peter Pan and Tinker Bell, she decides that is the perfect wedding for them. Shane is shocked, “Seriously? This isn’t what I had in mind!” Ivy tells him, "It’s my favorite cartoon and I don't know anyone who's ever done this before." Shane looks at the brochure, "Yeah, I can see why. This is ridiculously childish.” Ivy stares intensely at Shane, “I’m not childish.” The Minister interjects into their argument, “If it feels good, do it, man.” Shane stares at the picture, disappointed. He SIGHS. Realizing he just made a sale, the Minister says, “Far out! Do you have a marriage license?” Ivy shakes her head, “No”.
After they get their marriage license, they rush back to the chapel. Ivy waves the marriage license at the Theme Wedding Minister, who is now dressed as a Cowboy. He tells her, “Far out Daddy-o. Oh, shoot that was the last wedding”. He waves his hand, scratch that then changes the tone of his voice, “I can get you two hitched tomorrow when the sun rises.” Ivy snaps back at him, “Why not now?” The Minister replies, “Pull in your horns. I’m no ten-cent man, little woman. I don’t do things half-assed here. Here you two fill this out. Gotta fetch your weddin’ attire.” Ivy tells Shane while he fills out the form, “You know, he’s kinda strange.”
The couple is able to get a room at a nicer hotel for the evening. The next day, on their way to the chapel dressed as Peter Pan and Tinker Bell they encounter a UFO convention in the lobby. An agreement ensues when Ivy gets offended by a UFO because they don’t look like aliens. They are accused of being non-believers and the crowd grumbles at them as they walk past.
When they arrive at the chapel, the Minister is now decked out as Captain Hook and Shane sees himself dressed as Peter Pan in the mirror. Nothing about this feels remotely right. He takes Ivy’s Tinker Bell hand, "I want to marry you but not like this. This is childish and crazy." Shane places a wedding ring on Ivy’s right-hand wedding finger, “This will have to tide you over until I can get you home and marry you the right way”. Essentially, marrying Ivy the wrong way. The Minister grins, in a Captain Hook devilish sort of way twirling his fake mustache.
Excited to go home, Shane and Ivy exit the chapel. They run right into Ivy's parents. Oh Crap! Ivy’s parents are shocked, " Please tell us you didn't get married like that!" All of a sudden, the Soda Bottle Driver charges up, mad as hell. Next thing you know, it turns into a three-ring circus. Ivy discovers that Shane hid her cell phone so her parents couldn’t call her and he knew that they were in Vegas and didn’t tell her. Furious, Ivy leaves with her parents and won't speak to him.
Back at home, Shane explains what happened to Russ. When they sneak up to Ivy’s house in the dark to talk to her, they’re arrested for looking like burglars. To make matters worse Shane’s parents are called. After a bit of confusion, explanation, and apologies, Shane re-proposes on one knee in front of everyone, the right way. He opens his hoodie exposing his t-shirt that says, “Lost Boys Club”. This is how I feel without you Ivy. Ivy is swept off her feet.
They get through pre-cana and Shane gets baptized. Everyone works together to plan the wedding. The reception is held at a resort. Evelyn hands Shane a gift. Shane checks the TAG, “It’s from Lilly and Walt! Tickets to Disney Land!” Walt tells Ivy, “We wouldn’t want you to miss out on seeing Peter Pan and Tinker Bell, on your honeymoon now, would we?” She smiles, “It’s time I grow up. Not for my honeymoon. We can go this summer.” Shane opens Evelyn’s gift. It’s the sign he proposed to Ivy during the paintball game. Shane proudly displays it, “Ivy will you marry me?”.